Folded paper roses & swings.

I, Isabella will not sleep at 5am anymore. ): 

my sleeping habits are totally screwed. Hahahahaha.
a conversation went something like this.
L: you should sleep soon too! 
me: Yes.. haha soon.
L: and your soon shouldn't mean 3 hours later.......
me: okay... Yes I will not sleep at 5am anymore! 

sam's gonna call me at 130am. gonna discuss bout decor shiz cus i need ideas........ listening to guetta now(: it'll be cool to go see him when he's in SG again.

i hate it that i'm super sleepy and tired at around 8pm. Then I'd like go sleep for awhile til like 10 or 9 plus. After that, i'd still feel sleepy. Then when it hits 12am, theres this sudden boost of energy!!!!!!!!!!!!! ): 

alright off to devotion.
GOD LOVES YOU.

I guess you're right; I'm afraid. I'm afraid to put my guard down. I'm afraid that if you know who I am, you won't feel the same. And I'm afraid that once my barrier is defeated and I'm comfortable, you'll walk away.

Things to do today : 

-draw cash
-transfer money for dress
-thread eyebrows
-buy movie. (: 

I should try not to : sleep so late. (i slept at 430am btw)
I woke up at : 2.45pm
gahhhhhhh I can't wait for poly to start! 
(i wanted to run today but the sun is blazing hot!) 

waiting for any random person to come home. I'm all alone at home ): hate lazing around like that. the weather's just making it worse.

''Do you know that the most commonly used word in love letters is 'miss' not 'love'?''
''Have you ever been in love?''
''I feel...''
''The right one hasn't come along?''
''I think you're brave...''

''Most people need to be with someone. They can't wait to fall in love, because they're afraid of being alone. I think it takes courage to resist being with someone just for the sake of being with someone''

They tell me, ''Be realistic. Find someone you can live with''
''But I want someone I can't live without.''

I hate it that I can't sleep! Its 3.07am and I'm re-painting/touching up my gold nailsss & talking to stace on msn cus she cant sleep too. AHHHHHHHHHHHH I can just feel all the ugly stuff thats gonna grow on my face soon! eyebagssssssssssss. my eyebags today were bad enough......... ahhhh. Well Isabella, this is what you get for wanting to sleep at 4am this morning.

hello i've already chosen what to wear for tmr, done devotion, said hello to my sis, did all the things i'm supposed to do. CAN I GO SLEEP NOW?! (c'monnnnnnn i've alrd chosen what to wear, means i'm not being a bimbo about it) unless you know that i'll suddenly change my mind on what to wear tmr morning.........

i've got class at 9am........................................ i wanna take a pill but you say its bad for health.
please make my vision all blurry and sleepy dream-like and let me sleep...
wth its 3.24am.............

Its 2.25am & I'm feeling sleepy yet energetic. Its been quite a day/morning, I think. Woke up at 1pm, waited til 2pm for the appeal results. & Praise God, I got it(: I'm really kind of sick and tired of random people telling me that it was a stupid choice to appeal for that school/course. But hey, I'd rather do something I LOVE than be in a better school and do something that i'd HATE eventually. I love art, don't get me wrong. I've got files of my old sketches/drawings that I used to do in class. But...its just something that I like to do on the side, and not as a career kinda thing. Quit judging me already, won't you? 

Web-cammed with lem during his last lesson of the sem. (i've got no webcam so it was 10 minutes of watching him fiddle with his hair/stone.) But I will get a webcam soon! cus it comes with a macbook ;D 

Its gonna be a tough year but I really pray that God'll keep me stable and strong. Its this impending fear that's been slowly brewing up recently. I really don't want to Fall. Really.......................... I've been keeping away from these kinda things for so long. Its just so scary to dump me back into an environment full of the world's ideals. I don't wanna be of this world..

.........put God first

I wasn't even mentioning anyone in particular, take a chill pill man. I'm seriously SO tired, the last thing I wanna do is to type a post like what you did. I'm out of words, no more energy left.

Work was fun today. Tim finally taught me how to play last night on earth. Nobody came during my shift. So we slacked. Met my mum to go home together. Came home and met B & S to go play L4D. MET HEYONG IN THE LAN SHOP! hahaha so funnnny i promise. I was like hearing ' i got choir at 5.30pm bla bla bla''.. Then I thought ... ehh that sounds familiar. I turned around and gasped cus it was heyong! hahahaha. damn funny. after b&s left, me and heyong tried the 100 witches gameplay thingum. SO FUN I PROMISE!!! we spawned like DAMN alot of witches on the roof of the rock concert. and even spawned boomers/chargers/tanks/infected/jockeys. Hahahahahaha. Threw molotovs, fireworks, petrol and pipe bombs on them.

Can't wait for this week to end.

I really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna watch Law abiding citizen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I"m tired. Yawning. I've got dark eye rings.. its absolutey depressing to have to look at my face in the mirror cus of all the blemishes/eyebags): Hate having to cover them up with concealer. Work was kinda fun today(: Taught the new people how to play the basic games. Crapped/laughed with vivian. AND finally FINALLY, tim's gonna teach me how to play Last night on earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe. I've been wanting to play that game for damnnnnn long already. Met tabs after work today, its been long(: 

I'm so tired that I think I"m actually gonna sleep before 12am today! Gonna call the girls later and chat bout stuff.... (: And i'm finally gonna go out with F & N next week... we're gonna shop.. (yay for my pay thats in my account) 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can't take anymore emotional shit from everyone... as much as you're damn tired, i'm freaking tired and worn out too. i've got no more energy already, alright?!?! yea yea yea okay i suppose I can be like a sponge and just suck it all in huh. what.do.you.expect.me.to.do. ohmygosh its like my brain/heart has reached this saturation point where it cannot take in anymore shiz. and its like so many more things are coming at me and i'm just trying so hard to take it all in but I can't. til the point where I don't even know whats happening because I'm just so TIRED. I don't wanna think so hard, don't wanna feel so much...................i wanna go back to feeling whatever I wanna feel and talking to whoever I want to talk to and not just feeling cus I"m obliged to or talking cus I MUST talk. Get.It??? wo zhen de lei de hao xiang yao si le.

yes I sound pissed cus I really am. out of tiredness and frustration. its like trying to push the jockey off your back but you know its never gonna stop jumping on you until it runs you into a witch or something. all i need right now is just, idk, frolick with the bestfriends or something. someplace where i can be Isabella.

God........................................I place this into your hands.

Hello random nocturnal creatures who probably will be sleeping now (what a contradiction). It is currently 2.39am, & I have no idea where this sudden burst of energy came from. A random song's been playin' on a loop. I am not feeling hungry. Thank God. Sometimes you just need someone to trust you. All I need is just that little bit of believe and trust from you. Why won't you trust me when I say I really am over it? I don't want you to doubt me. I just want you to see me... for who I am. Sometimes I look back & think.. Do you really see me for the person I am? You make me feel so completely transparent, but yet like a stranger. I wonder if you really know me. Do you just know me, or do you know me? I feel completely guarded but yet so insecure.

(yes this post is so random I know) I've got no work tomorrow except for PAYDAY(finally!). I wanna make plans to go out and catch law abiding citizen cus guess who is acting in it!! Gerard Butler(: I wanna catch valentine's day too hehe. (prolly with the bestfriends as my love life is completely and happily non-existent) I feel like staying up the whole night. Watch my sis prepare for school, say hello to mum & dad.. and then collapse back into bed, sleeping til god-knows-when. I've never really actually done an all-nighter before. Wonder how it feels like to not sleep for a night. Sometimes I sleep so late til I feel like my heart's gonna stop beating because I haven't got enough sleep. Don't ask why. Viv was laughing her head off at me when I told her that today. Its like I can feel my heart slowly stopping if I don't sleep soon, HAHA.

I hope my sis is doing well in school. I know that God's already blessing her so abundantly. (: 

So much for falling asleep in front of the tv. So much for wanting to turn in early. Its 3.09am for goodness sakes. I can feel my skin sagging, along with all the acne and the eyebags and the puffiness of my very small slitty eyes. Ugh yeah, totally over exaggerating here. (soon I'll really be old, disabled, ugly, fat & dumb, just like you said).

Note-to-self : Must practise the piano before leaving the house tomorrow...

Gah its 3.22am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (dont worry I don't feel like I'm going to die yet... which is rare) Usually i'd feel like i'm gna die at around.. 2am near 3. Then I'd go hurry off to bed, set my alarm & sleep before my heart threatens to stop beating. Hahahahaha I know this sounds so absurd. But yessssssss thats actually how I feel. Anyone out there like that too? (: currently listening to michael (again) 's Hold On. Gosh it makes me kinda sad but kinda happy at the same time, i don't know which emotion I wanna feel so I don't feel in the end. Haha.

This song still makes me swoon. (well, a little) 



3.32am. Maybe i'll go off to bed at 4am. But then again, I wanna sleep at 5am cus then at 5.45am, my sis will be waking up for school. hehehehe. Yea I must be outta my mindz. GAH I feel like I'm gonna die soon. Its 3.37am. Okay.. thtas like.... around 20 more minutes til 4am, right?? fine i'll go sleep at 4am and abandon the thought of turning in at 5am. Mhmmm conversations alone at 3.38am. Hardly anyone's online, nobody's even tweeting anymore.

bye God loves you xx.